Archive for October, 2009
Rex Alter Episode 2
In episode one, we met Rex Alter, son of the Prime Minister who’s an upstart in a star fleet. When The Aura is attacked by The Shadow Master, a nefarious soul-sucker, Rex and a crew of misfits escape. Along with him is Julie Tittle, a woman he has a past with, and his alien cohorts: Drippy, Piku, and the amazing Simmy Pippins. In this episode, Rex and Drippy must save their ship from certain destruction while the Shadow Master continues to plot.
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Rex Alter Episode 2: Drippy & The Great Escape
Podcast EDI CH 28
Some bomchickabombom with Eve and Kevin. Click below:
Easy Does It CH 28
Heartbreak & Law of…
Heartbreak and the Law of Attraction
Okay. It’s embarrassing, but I think I’m going all New Age and finally watched “The Secret”. It was recommended by my mom, my therapist, three girlfriends, some guy friends, and when a stranger approached me in D&W and said “Lady, you have some issues. Watch THE SECRET” I thought maybe the universe was trying to tell me something. And what is it trying to tell me? Nothing I haven’t heard before. I have a bit of trouble with relationships. Not just a failed marriage (though I’m still not convinced that’s the right word for it) but I seem to only fall for men who aren’t really available. Two big ones in my past: one in Grand Rapids (who became the subject of my book), one in New York, and one recently.
The Universe is telling me I need to keep on kissing...
All three of these men I’ve been deeply attracted to or felt some kind of connection with. I’m not sure what they felt for me, though I’m fairly certain the feelings weren’t exactly reciprocated. And that’s the trouble. I choose men who don’t really want to date me. Most recently, the man I’ve been sort of involved with told me from the start that he wasn’t ready for a committed relationship. I was okay with that. I really thought I was at least. And then as time went on, I sort of started to give him my heart, and my focus, and my energy. Thursday night he let me know that he IS ready for a committed relationship…just not with me. The woman he’s chosen is a woman he met before me. “If I’d met you earlier,” he said “If I met you first…” Blah blah blah. I may sound blase, but believe me I am not. I feel crushed. Crumpled. To make it worse, today at the grocery store, I saw the woman he chose instead of me. She isn’t necessarily a BETTER version of me: just an alternate one. She’s more exotic looking than I am, maybe she’s prettier, she has two kids too (both girls whereas I have a boy and a girl) and I heard her say to her daughters, “Let’s get a movie we can watch at Mr’s house.” (I’m not putting his name in here.) Ah. So. There I am at Meijer with my two kids picking out playdough for a weekend alone, and there she is with her kids picking out a movie to watch with the man I thought I could love. Well. A whole lot of heartbreak there.
Why did this happen? The answer is: I Don’t Know. I am thinking about the Law of Attraction. Do I attract in my life men who don’t fully want me because it replays stuff from my childhood? That’s a good possibility. But it’s honestly not what I want. What I want is someone to share a passion and a life with, in small moments. And I want someone to want me, and for the timing to be right.
Maybe the trouble is that for years, I’ve believed I was cursed romantically. Things seem to support that…but I’m going to try and flip my thinking. I’m going to start believing that I’m blessed. If I step back and look at my life, I am blessed. And I may not be able to share the life I have with someone right now in the way I want, I trust that it will happen eventually. Until then, it’s me and the kiddos, and playdough, and teaching, and performing, and my books. I’ve been neglecting my writing and it’s calling to me again. Maybe there’s a Secret or two in there that I need to discover too.
For anyone reading this, I wish you good cheer and happiness. We all deserve a little kindness, whether or not we’re actively attracting it in our lives. Surely the universe is, ultimately, a place of love, and it’s infinite enough that we should all have a little piece of love all to ourselves.
20 Beautiful Things
This is the free write assignment for my class yesterday. I’ve been feeling grumpy and very blue lately, so I needed to remind myself that there are a lot of beautiful things in life, even when things maybe aren’t going the way you hoped. Here are my
20 Beautiful Things
1) When I come home from teaching and my kids are waiting for me, jumping up and down, pleased just to see me.
2) The sound of rain on the roof.
3) A first kiss.
4) All the kisses that follow.
5) That golden kind of light filtering through orange or red leaves.
6) when the moon is out at the same time as the sun, making me feel (even if only briefly) that I am on a new planet.
7) laughter. Real laughter. From the belly laughter.
People are beautiful. All people. Their faces, hair, bodies. If you stop and look, really look, you can see it.
9) My friends are beautiful. The way they talk to me, listen to me, shake their heads at the ridiculous things that happen.
10) A chocolate volcano cake, warm from the oven, topped with slowly melting vanilla ice cream.
11) Lake Michigan in a storm. Lake Michigan sleeping. Lake Michigan in winter, waves frozen mid-turn.
12) A tiny Indian restaurant in NYC, with ceilings and walls covered with teardrop lights.
13) Sitting in a bar listening to live music, any live music, but mostly jazz.
14) Someone rubbing their hands through my hair. This will make me love you a little bit.
15) Going out with someone for the first time, not knowing if anything will happen, just seeing endless potential before you.
16) Saying good morning.
17) Quiet mornings, awake before everyone else, drinking coffee and listening to the house.
18) Holding my kids’ hands when we walk to school.
19) The words ‘bubble’ and ‘love’ and ‘poppy’ and ‘hyperbole’.
20) When someone says “I love you” and you know, without question, that they do.